Iced coffee – gay or straight?
Yes, surprisingly, this is a legitimate question.
So what does this have to do with Australia?
Well, I’ll get to it.
But first, the answer to this burning issue shows that geography is the biggest determinator.
In North America, iced coffee is apparently a gay man’s drink. Just doing a search on the net will provide links to clips, memes and even in-depth analyses on this association. It’s even scientific…
If you’re just finding out about this love affair between iced coffee and the gays, well, you’re a bit late to the glitter party. It’s been around for at least a decade now. Even Buzzfeed did this listicle of gay iced coffee-related tweets in 2018.
And it’s not just North America. This article from Ireland even shows that this concept that iced coffee = drink for gay men has well crossed the Atlantic.
So has this been the case going across the Pacific? What’s Australia’s stance on this pressing matter?
Well, the opposite, actually.
In most of Australia, (supermarket) iced coffee is a big thing. Usually there are whole refrigerated shelves of the stuff available in shops, and loyalty to the local brand is to the death. But it’s not the gays who are being fierce here; iced coffee in Australia is firmly the prime drink for the straightest of Aussie blokes – ‘tradies’ i.e. ‘tradespeople’. We’re talking about skilled manual labourers or blue-collar workers who specialise in a specific trade – electricians, plumbers, carpenters, bricklayers – and they’re usually seen about Australian cities and towns wearing hi-vis and blue.
Australia takes iced coffee seriously. When in 2019 supplies of the cherished brown stuff were running low due to Australia’s seemingly permanent drought, it was major news! I tell you, it was a miracle there was no civil uprising over the shortage.
Fair dinkum, iced coffee in Australia is more of a bloke bevvy than beer! Want proof? Well, according to this classic ad from the early 1990s, only spilled Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee (or ‘FUIC’ – pronounced ‘few-ick’) could make the toughest of Aussie men absolutely collapse into a complete puddle of tears. Apparently “some spilled milk is worth crying over”.
And this goes full-on when you have Aussie blokes going onto social media and giving in-depth reviews ranking the best iced coffee brands in Australia. Go on, I dare you to watch all 35 minutes of this important piece of product research and analysis…
So what do you say? Is iced coffee straight or gay?
OK, so this is a frivolous post about how silly a drink supposedly defines someone’s sexuality or masculinity. You’d think we’d be beyond this, and yet, we’re still here.
Happy LGBT+ Pride! Looks like we need it now more than ever.
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