Category:

Balkans

Nick Nasev

Bulgaria

2001: A Balkan Odyssey. The final part: “Bribing the doctor”

So, how are you supposed to bribe a doctor in Bulgaria to do an operation as expected?

This was the thought going through my head as I was on my bus having fled the and conflict on the outskirts of Skopje, Macedonia in July 2001.

Mission 1: Find cousin who fled her home a day after giving birth, who I hadn’t heard from in months. Outcome: success! All fine and well.

Mission 2: Provide bribe money to doctor so that auntie can have stomach tumour removed that was supposed to have been done properly two years earlier. Progress report: she’s in hospital and awaiting my US$300 contribution for said doctor.

OK, so I’m on my way. Just give me two hours.

This is the final stage of my 2001 Balkan Odyssey, that had seen me ricocheted from Canada to the Balkans to complete the two above missions. During that time, I’ve spent time being an “attraction” at my relative’s village of outcasts located in Bulgaria’s once-forbidden and deadly border zone near Greece, bump into people who know my father in the most unlikely of lucky chances, dealt with unusually nice border officials, entered into a war zone and be deemed “normal” amidst the craziness characteristic of armed conflicts.

Time now to get Mission 2 over and done with before my return to Canada.

person getting 1 U.S. dollar banknote in wallet
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Arriving in Sofia after the surprisingly speedy bus trip from Skopje, first stop before going to the hospital where my auntie was waiting was a florist to buy some flowers – one by Sveta Nedelya Square. The attending florist asked me what flowers I’d like and I said “something that represents ‘health’”. Next was the obligatory box of chocolates. No, not for my auntie but to go with the bribe money for the doctor. And it had to be something “fensi” – not Chernomorets, something “western”. So Lindt it was. Next on the shopping list was a nice crisp envelope to place the nice crisp US dollar notes in. Do I get a bottle of Johnnie Walker and a carton of Malboros? Nah, we’re not in the 1980s anymore, plus, this is getting a bit overboard. This doctor really shouldn’t be getting the 300 bucks in the first place, let alone extras. But this, unfortunately, has been part of Balkan life not just in these days of wild capitalism but all throughout time. Favours, connections, gifts – all forms of tribute. They’ve always been important and have been deciding factors in whether something works out well or not.

Entering the hospital, I went to reception, asked where my auntie is by name and was directed to a ward that was clean though certainly had seen better days. Such was the state of not just the Bulgarian public health system but this too was standard all throughout the Balkans and Eastern Europe. There was my auntie, all excited to see me, and by her bedside my cousin Anna-Maria. Their faces lit up immediately – I was finally there with the dosh to end the stomach pains.

First thing my auntie did was apologise for the state of the hospital, like as if it was her responsibility. “I’m sure the hospitals in Australia don’t look anything like this dump” she said. My modest reply was “oh no, they’re just the same”. What a hopeless lie! Of course they didn’t look like this. It’s not like wealthy Australia had gone through the economic turmoil that poor Bulgaria had gone through those previous two decades. But while my auntie is in this state, why bog ourselves down with comparisons. She was in pain, so this was not the time to rub in how she had the bad deal when it came to life…

A room with two beds and a window
OK, so this is the inside of a Ukrainian hospital, but it looks pretty much the same as the hospital my auntie was in. Photo by Dmytro Glazunov on Unsplash

You could say my auntie was doomed from the onset. She had been born in her father’s (my grandfather’s) birthplace in 1944… not within the current borders of Bulgaria but just over it in what is now Greece. When my auntie told me this, I didn’t believe her. She then showed me her ID card where it clearly stated her birthplace, using its Slavic… well, Turkish, name of Karakoy (now Katafyto). What had happened was when her father had finally been caught after going AWOL from the Bulgarian Army during World War II, he was given a choice – either he be sent back to the front line to certain death or he and his wife could opt to return and repopulate his birth village in Greece, then under Bulgarian administration. In 1925, the people of the village, her father included, had decided that they would en masse leave for just over the newly defined border within sight into Bulgaria. In their place came Greek refugees from Asia Minor, victims of the population exchange between Greece and Turkey. When the Bulgarian Army took control of the region again in 1941, the plan then was for Bulgarian refugees who had come from Greece to return to their places of origin now part of greater Bulgaria. But few of them wanted to return to villages that had been completed destroyed (as was the case with my grandfather’s birthplace), meaning they needed to start all over again. However, for my grandfather, doing this was better than dying in a war he wanted no part in, especially as it was allied at the time with Nazi Germany. As a reward for returning to his village, my grandfather was appointed the village’s police officer. While there, his wife gave birth of their first child – a girl, i.e. my auntie.

But this new life back in the old place was not to last. Just over a month after my auntie’s birth, the Red Army entered into Bulgaria. The Soviets engineered a Communist-led coup (later officially billed as the September Uprising) toppling the pro-Nazi Bulgarian government. Bulgaria immediately changed sides and withdrew from all territories it had taken over beyond the country’s pre-1941 borders. This included the village that my auntie had just been born in. Given the circumstances, and seeing he was now part of the Bulgarian administrative and security apparatus, my grandfather had no choice but to flee from his birthplace, again, and withdraw to Bulgaria proper. My auntie, a mere few weeks old, was already a refugee.

All that remains of my grandfather’s, and auntie’s, birth village in Greece. Bulgaria is just on the other side of the hill in the background. April 2017.

As there was no one else really to do the job, even though he had been appointed under the previous, now wholly discredited pro-Nazi authorities, my grandfather continued being a police officer, just now his hat had a red star on it. For doing so, and pledging allegiance to the new communist government, my grandfather was roundly rewarded by being assigned a nicely located apartment right in the centre of Nevrokop in the town’s intact and lively Jewish quarter.

Life was fine. But that was to change… spectacularly.

On the evening of 20 April 1947, police officers, her father’s colleagues, smashed into their apartment. This was no friendly visit. The officers started trashing the entire place. Her mother had been ordered to leave the apartment immediately and was very ceremoniously thrown out onto the street for all to see. The reason for her sudden eviction – her husband, the police officer, had been arrested earlier that day after being discovered to have been feeding valuable intel to a clandestine separatist Macedonian “counter-revolutionary” grouping. My auntie, her mother and her newborn younger brother were out on the street now deemed “enemies of the people”. There was no mercy here. My auntie was 2 years old; her brother was barely six months.

With no-one in her family or any of her husband’s relatives in the town willing to be associated with her, no matter how much they wanted to help her, my auntie’s mother had no choice but to flee to the village of outcasts (explained in Part 1) not far from the town for fellow “enemies”. Things then went worse for them when my grandfather made a daring escape, in broad daylight, from the prison camp he was interned, successfully making it over the nearby border into Greece. My auntie, her mother and brother were now, in the eyes of the Bulgarian authorities at the time, the lowest of the low.

It was made very clear to her and her brother that they have no bright future ahead of them in the worker’s paradise. Any dreams of university education? A highly prestigious job? Forget it. They were from now on, and constantly reminded of from the never-ceasing taunts from the other children, kopileta – essentially “bastards” in the old-fashioned sense.

Their father extraordinarily survived his escape and made his way to safety to Australia – “the furthest I could get from Europe” he would say. In a feeble yet necessary attempt to mitigate the negative repercussions he knew his escape will have on the family he left behind in Bulgaria, her father “divorced” their mother by letter, which allowed her to remarry… to the village drunk. Their childhood was absolutely horrifying, having to face the violent wrath of this lowlife of a man. My auntie and her brother (my uncle) were left to fend for themselves.

In her late teens, my auntie met a funny guy, similarly an outcast like her, from a neighbouring village, and soon after married. Given everyone in their region knew of their circumstances and backgrounds, they had nothing to lose and so a clean break would be best for them. They moved to the spa city of Velingrad, where they lived for a few years in the 1960s, and where their two daughters were born. At first, no-one knew about their backgrounds or associations, but eventually, their past caught up on them and were shunned. Then in 1969, the Bulgarian Communist Party made a call for young volunteers to move to the centre of Bulgaria where new lignite-powered thermoelectrical plants had been constructed. Workers were needed in all professions. The young family decided to answer that call and moved there. OK, that’s how the rosy-coloured propaganda at the time depicted their move. The reality was they needed to go further afield to escape their pasts, plus doing something in favour of the Party would do much to exonerate their tainted biographies and gain some positive ticks for providing better prospects for their daughters.

My auntie’s garden patch. The ever hotter summers make it tougher to grow vegetables. Summer 2023

With only basic education – that was all they were allowed to have – they didn’t have much choice on what jobs they could take, but the railways were always desperate for people to work in remote villages, so they took the task of becoming the station masters of their new village of residence. My uncle was a very amicable person and loved talking with everyone, as well as saying jokes and making people laugh – this made him perfect material to become a train conductor. First working on local lines, he quickly climbed the career ladder to work on cross-country lines and soon after was chef de tren on international, multiday lines criss-crossing the Eastern Bloc. His journeys would take his as far as Novosibirsk deep inside Siberia. As he had his own compartment in these epic train journeys, for summer holidays he would also take along his wife and two daughters. Destinations such as (East) Berlin, Prague, Budapest, Leningrad and Moscow, places that my uncle would see regularly on his conductor expeditions, were the best most Bulgarians could possibly go to at the time – they were akin to Paris, Rome and Amsterdam for those in the west. My cousins would come back from these places, where shops were much better stocked that in rural Bulgaria, with items that would make their fellow students envious.

For two decades my auntie was the station mistress for their village, running the operations, from ticket sales to signalling, all by herself. Along with an ample plot of land for growing vegetables and tending to farm animals such as chickens and a pig, and being in a pleasant village where no-one held any grudges against them, their lives in 1970s and 1980 socialist Bulgaria were relatively pleasant. And even though they had been constantly threatened their daughters would also inherit with the same low status as them, none of this actually came about. By the 1970s, the Bulgarian Communist authorities realised it’d be better co-opt these “enemies of the people”, particularly their children, who had been born and lived all their lives in “real socialism”, rather than keep this ever-growing group of people in a resentful and antagonistic state – one that could grow to become a potential fifth column. Both my cousins were able to have full access to higher education – one going to teacher’s college in Plovdiv, the other having the privilege of studying in the capital, Sofia.

That’s not to say that my auntie liked her life under Communist Party rule in Bulgaria. As she told me when I reunited with her in 1997, eight years after the fall of communist rule in Bulgaria, she claimed the biggest mistake the Bulgarian communist leadership made was not following the example set by Tito in neighbouring Yugoslavia – if you didn’t like it, here’s your passport and leave. Why keep anyone against their will who could potentially cause trouble on the inside. Let them go. Given the choice, my auntie would’ve gladly left Bulgaria – as she said repeatedly, if she could she would’ve walked on water all the way to Australia.

The thing is… she did have the chance.

Abandoned buildings at the former collective farm outside my auntie’s village. September 2013

No matter how difficult it was being separated from his children, and the Bulgarian authorities certainly did their best to make it as tough as possible, my grandfather still maintained communication, even in secret from his new family in Australia, as I later discovered. For instance, a few years back while going through my grandfather’s papers and documents, I found a curious receipt from 1956 for a wire transfer to Bulgaria via a US bank for the remarkable sum of US$100 – a huge amount the equivalent of the average monthly wage at the time in Australia. The money was directed to his older brother to go towards his entire extended family in Bulgaria. Whether they actually received the money or not, who knows?

Then in 1971, the impossible happened. From the end of WWII right through to the late 1970s, Australia was in dire need of workers. The result was huge waves of migrants coming from Europe – first Brits and Irish, then displaced persons from Eastern Europe, then swarthier people from the Mediterranean. All throughout this time Australia applied a whites-only immigration policy, the criteria for which gradually lessened over the years as the desperation to populate the country intensified. I have no idea how this happened as my grandfather was a man of many secrets and someone who knew no English, but in the late 1960s he initiated the process to sponsor his daughter and son to migrate to Australia. Unlike now, the Australian side gave permission almost instantly – they were, after all, young, with families, very willing to do hard work and, most importantly, white. It was the Bulgarian authorities that needed greater convincing. Now it wasn’t impossible for Bulgarians to leave Bulgaria then, but close enough. Permission to leave Bulgaria at the time came with some hefty criteria. First of all, my grandfather would’ve had to pay a large amount of hard currency to allow for all this to happen – you could call it a ransom. The other was that the potential emigrants from Bulgaria must not have been privy to state secrets, knowledge or skills of value that Bulgaria could not afford to fall into the hands of the devilish scheming capitalists. Well, given they had been denied higher education, they certainly weren’t in that circle, and seeing they were not really wanted in Bulgaria in the first place, they would be no loss. So in a somewhat surprise move, the central authorities in Sofia provisionally approved their application for exit visas in their first step to be able legally to leave Bulgaria.

However…

Before full approval could be granted, they must first be cleared by the police directorate in the town they grew up in. The person who ultimately held the power to decide whether they could go to Australia or not… just happened to be the same police chief who was the immediate boss of their father’s just before he was arrested. In true provincial Balkan style, he still held a grudge, so out of pure Balkan inat, he denied them their approval. Again, the petty-minded nature of the authorities thwarted them. When my auntie recounted how she was in tears and near-suicidal leaving the police station after being told she was not getting the approval to leave her living nightmare.

Entry into Risimanovo, my auntie’s village. September 2013

My auntie has always been a modest and understanding person… OK, not for the gypsies, who she despises with a passion, but she certainly made her peace with the circumstances resulting from her biological father’s escape. As she also said to me once, she doesn’t blame him for escaping. She knew that he knew beforehand what making such an escape will have on his own family – no-one does this lightly. To make such a daring move must have been prompted by something quite severe that had he not done it, most certainly he would have ended in a death camp like the ones in Belene or Lovech.

Now you’d think that the (unexpected) sudden fall of Communist Party rule in 1989 would have opened a wonderfully new chapter of hope and opportunity for my auntie. Well, that’s how it was all painted in the West at the time and since. Well, think again.

Life in the village continued with business as usual… until the railways were primed for privatisation. Her village was on a quiet feeder line that simply wasn’t profitable enough to entice potential private operators to keep running, and so it was closed down. Gone too then was her railway station she was single-handedly running, leaving her unemployed in her late 50s. That’s it – her working life had ended. From then on it was just tending to her crops and animals in their yard. Her husband also retired from his train conductor role, no longer fit enough to endure the weeks of travel required. But he never let go of his role. In his retirement, he’d still walk around the village and surrounding areas with his train conductor hat to talk to anyone and everyone, especially with the large number of Roma people in the area, whom he treated with utmost respect.

What once used to be the ticket counter at the abandoned Risimanovo railway station. September 2013

When looking through photo albums with my sister when I was a child, we’d chanced on this old black-and-white photo of a young blonde girl. Shocked, I asked our mother: “who’s this person that looks exactly like my sister?” That was of my auntie at age 14. When my sister finally got to meet our auntie, my sister was so shocked and the first thing she said was “this is how I’m going to look like when I’m older! Wow, I’m lucky!”

Our chef de tren in his conductor hat

Back in the hospital ward, I discreetly handed the crisp envelope with the crisp US dollar notes to my auntie, who conveniently kept the envelope under her pillow and not in the bedside table lest it be stolen while she’s sleeping. Don’t ask me then what’s the protocol for handing that money over to the doctor – I left that to the professionals to handle.

In any case, Mission 2 had been accomplished! My work here is done. My cousin then told me that we had to go as she wanted to introduce me to someone.

My cousin had had a decade-long mission of her own. We had started corresponding with each other in the 1990s, and as cousins go, we get on very well. But it was apparent from that first letter my cousin had one intention in mind– to leave Bulgaria and live her true life in the West. My family would’ve wanted to help her to come to Australia, and she certainly would emphasise in her letters that she had funds and the independence not to be a burden on us, but she needed a sponsor before anything could happen. Unfortunately, Australia in the 1990s was no longer like the time when my grandfather could sponsor her mother. Australia at the time had a well-established, robust family reunion immigration program, one that certainly saved my grandmother, her children and her mother from political repression and destitution in 1950s Greece. By the 1990s this program had been tightened and only applied to immediate family members. Unless there were no other family, being a granddaughter, a cousin or niece was not close enough anymore, so we couldn’t help. But my cousin, like so many other ambitious Bulgarians at the time, was still determined to find a way out.

My cousin had a big announcement to make to me; one that would explain the “circumstances” why she couldn’t get to see me when I had first arrived in Sofia at the start of this odyssey. We went to a café in the centre of Sofia, where a guy was waiting for us. He was overweight, wearing somewhat flashy, albeit rip-off, brand name clothes for a Bulgarian man, smoking a cigarette, on his mobile phone, and with an air of arrogance and disinterest to him – in other words, a proper гъзар (gazar).

My cousin introduced me to him. His name is Toni. He barely acknowledges me and goes back to talking on his mobile. And so who’s this Toni, I ask my cousin.
- He’s my fiancé, my cousin replies.

Fiancé! This thing? Come on! My cousin can do way better than this peasant. There has to be more to this.

My cousin later revealed Toni certainly did have something worth going after – a US Green Card. Marrying Toni meant she’d be able to migrate to the land of opportunity, which she did soon after. Now would it be a surprise to you if I tell you that this marriage didn’t last too long, and everyone in the family had this unprompted code of silence never to ask about him or the circumstances of this tryst. Some things are best left untold – why worry us.

A close up of a button on a dollar bill
Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

By this time, having been through a war zone, a village where I was the centre of attention, crazy driving with blind overtaking on steep cliffs, a string of luck on a journey across borders, and plenty more moments that could get me writing for another 10 instalments, I had enough. If a few weeks in the Balkans could get me wanting to escape, then who am I to judge my cousin or even my grandfather for that matter. The summer rain and no smoking in Canada were looking mighty fine by then.

Now I could write something profound, such as that I found something of myself. I certainly had an experience. It put into perspective the privilege I’ve had in my life. I can go in and out of these worlds and, apparently, still be normal. I’ve been told so.

By the way, my cousin Biljana and her family were able to return to their intact home after all hostilities in Macedonia came to climatic end in mid-August 2001, two weeks after I left, with the signing of the Ohrid Accords – a bad peace to prevent an even worse war. They lived in that house until this year. They’ve sold the place to move to an inner-city apartment in Skopje. Who needs such a house in the outskirts of Skopje, especially when both their children have now left Macedonia for good and now live their true lives in Germany. Macedonia may be at peace, but that alone doesn’t provide enough opportunities for the country’s youth, no matter what ethnicity.

25 years later and my auntie is sprightly octogenarian who tends to her vegetables despite the ever devastating droughts from the intensifying summer heat. No surprises but she’s a huge fan of soap operas – The Bold and The Beautiful used to be her favourite, but now it’s the Turkish and Indian ones. Her husband unfortunately died of Covid during the pandemic, leaving the village without its jokester chef de tren. With the train long gone and no future in agriculture, the village has haemorrhaged people – there used to be 200 people there in 2001; now the official registered population is around 70, but all but 5 of them actually live in the village. The remaining five permanent residents are all widows, with my auntie being the youngest! They couldn’t bear living in anywhere else, not even with their adult children in the cities. They all look after each other, like sisters, otherwise they’re on their own.

Oh, and my auntie never got to meet her father, the man whose action to save himself from certain death came at such a huge price to him, his first wife, his children, their familes, his brothers and sisters and their families.

After I arrived back in Canada, I called my cousin to find out how’s her mother. All went well with my auntie’s operation – the tumour was finally removed and she was left with no more stomach pains. The bribe money did it, for which my auntie and cousin will be forever grateful. Of course, my auntie had been instructed post-op to rest and not do any heavy lifting or arduous tasks for a few weeks. But do you expect a Balkan villager to listen? My cousin told me as soon as they returned to the village, the first thing her mother did was move the heavy vats of sauerkraut and other pickled items she had into their basement, and clean the cupboards.

While on the phone, my cousin asked me what it was like to be in Canada again. I said it was fine. Not as exciting as it was on my odyssey. You can’t smoke everywhere and it’s constantly raining, even if it was August. She’ll find out soon enough when she starts her own odyssey in North America. Did I tell her that I was hassled by the customs officials upon my entry and told them about my odyssey? Nah! I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t want to worry her.

Photo right by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

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Hi, zdravo, bok, zdravei, g'day! I’m Nick Nasev, an Aussie of Balkan background living in the UK. I’ve been a translator and editor for 20+ years. If you have an interest in languages and all things Balkan, Eastern European, Australian and beyond, along with a dash of corny and irony, then stick with me as I rant about my experiences and stories.

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Big issue of the day – what coin do you use for your lucky-coin Christmas tradition? It matters to many in the Balkans AND Australia

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Australian English: thongs

Aussies love wearing thongs outdoors. But does "thongs" mean the same in Australia as it does in other countries? Find out here...

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Australian English: abroad vs overseas

There are a number of seemingly ordinary English words that can get Aussies thinking 'that's not right'. Here's the case with one...?

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Chinwag Tuesday podcast with Amanda Boyne

Want to hear how I speak in Australian English with another Australian English specialist? Here's your chance

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Australian English: tap, tag or touch?

How do you describe using a payment card to use public transport in Australia? It depends where in Australia you are...

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Australian English: maths or math

Want to get Aussies angry? Ask this mathematical question...

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Do I translate into Australian?

Many people are shocked when they find out I'm a translator, but their jaws drop even more when I tell them that I also 'translate' into Australian English.

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Australia Day memories

Some memories of mine of 26 January, Australia Day

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Australia Day/Invasion Day: the Lamb Ad!

Would you believe that one of the most anticipated events in the lead-up to Australia's national day on 26 January is... an ad about eating lamb! More about the vibe here...

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Australia and New Zealand do seasons a little differently...

Why wishing your clients, friends and relatives in Australia a happy start to summer on December 21st is not the way to do it...

Read more

Australian English: peanut butter or peanut paste?

Tread carefully! The extraordinary story of this salty Australian regionalism and how it can ignite passions worthy of a civil war.

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What's the name of this famous Australian natural landmark?

One of Australia's most visited tourist sites has two official names, but Aussies almost exclusively use one of them. Do you know which one?

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Australia and trick-or-treating... a minefield

If there's anything that can get some Aussies hot under the collar, it's this...

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Australian English: is it email and/or e-mail?

Welcome to confusion with "email" in Australia. It's generational...

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Australian (Olympics) English: battered sav, hello boys, crazy date, flat bags, goose...

How a comedy routine during the 2000 Sydney Olympics provided Australia with its own, very naughty, gymnastics lexicon!

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Why are Aussies so good at swimming?

To get away from the sharks! Nah, it's more than that.

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The [enter place name] Olympics are going to be a disaster...

Or perhaps not. It wouldn't be an Olympics if there wasn't impending doom. But how has it actually turned out?

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Who's gonna win: Sunderland or Newcastle? Fancy a Democracy Sausage? Or take a ride on the "Bulgarian Train"

Vote-count competitions between rival cities? How a mundane sausage in generic white bread is the epitome of mass democratic participation in Australia. And why a Bulgarian train is not a train. The weird world of election traditions.

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Pets on public transport: yes or no? 👍👎

Australians adore pets... but not on public transport. How come?

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Accadacca at 50!

One of the world's biggest ever rock bands has turned 50!

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Australian English: "We're de factos!"

Many Australians are in "de facto relationships". What are these and how do they differ from marriage?

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Burger King vs Hungry Jacks. Is there a difference?

Is Burger King the drama? How come there's no Burger King in Australia but you can still get a Whopper? A story of how a technicality turned an alternative brand into a part of local Australian identity, and how that was almost usurped.

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Poor Gina...

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Australia's richest woman, mining magnate Gina Rinehart got more than what she bargained for when she wanted a portrait of her taken down. And how does wine figure into this too?

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ABBA can thank Australia for the music!

50 years after ABBA won the Eurovision Song Content, it was Australia that set the tone for ABBA's fortunes over the decades. This is their Australian story.

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Australian etiquette: the Outback Driving Wave

It’s all about being friendly when driving out in “woop woop” (the middle of nowhere) in Australia. A definite must-do!

Read more

Homonyms maketh the sentence…

How do you say in Bosnian, Croatian, Montenegrin or Serbian this: “Up there, the mountains burn worse”?👉 Gore gore gore gore.

Read more

So what are Fantales?

They are chocolate-covered chewy caramels 🍬 that were often so hard to bite into that they kept many dentists in business 🦷. Nothing particularly unique so far, you might think.

Read more

Happy 50th anniversary to the Adelaide Festival Centre!

🎉 50 years ago today, the Adelaide Festival Centre, the premier performing and visual arts venue and precinct in Adelaide, Australia, opened. The centre to this day remains one of the symbols of Adelaide. 🇦🇺

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What’s a “bank holiday”? Do Aussies say that too?

Do Aussies have "bank holidays" like in the UK? Well, it's complicated

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How come Australia is at Eurovision? It’s actually a perfect marketing opportunity…

Time to get out the sequins and huge props. The world’s most watched non-sports TV show is on, the Eurovision Song Contest 🎤. Tonight is the second semi-final, with 16 acts from Europe… and Australia.

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Vale Barry Humphries!

Last Saturday Australian 🇦🇺 🎭 comedy legend Barry Humphries passed away aged 89.

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Australian English: "You can find the Doonas in Manchester”

Now this might sound a bit random but this is something you’ll hear all the time, in all places, in department stores in Australia. How come?

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Eshays and Adlays: Australia’s answer to London’s Roadmen

The story behind Australia’s current most notorious youth sub-group

Read more

Move over Easter Bunny 🐇 … make way for the Easter Bilby! 🪃

Bunnies are considered cute and loveable… except in Australia 🇦🇺, where they’re a major scourge🤬.

Read more

The time when George Bush Senior figuratively told the Aussies where to go…

Have you unwittingly done a hand gesture that meant something completely different in another country? Here’s a true story…

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International Women’s Day (IWD). A day of campaigning ♀ … or a day to buy flowers 💐

🪃 In Australia, IWD is a day of campaigning and awareness, elements that are much closer to the day’s original purpose of bringing mainstream attention to issues affecting women.

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Victory or peace sign or are you really telling someone to f**k off?

Two hand gestures – one that does cause offence in Australia and another that actually doesn’t, despite what the internet says. And how US President Bush caused furor when using one of them.

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Australian English: Please explain

How a seemingly inoffensive English phrase has unsuspecting connotations in Australia. An example of how crucial understanding local sensitivities can be.

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Australian English: receival

Yes, it's a word. How this old-fashioned and seemingly pompous English word is, surprisingly, still very much alive and in use in Australia.

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Australian English: rort

Are you rorting the system? Do you find your job a bit of a rort? Or are you up for a rort this weekend? What the Australian term "rort" means and where did it come from.

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Australian English: football, soccer... and root

A guide to Australia's sporting vocabulary—from football codes to the very naughty meaning of "rooting" for your team.

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Australian English: spruik

Time for me to spruik the very uniquely Australian term spruik. What does it mean and where did it come from?

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Dishlicker, check-out chick, doover? The yeah nahs and nah yeahs of the Oxford Dictionary's new Australian English additions

Wotz hot and wotz not?! Your resident Australian English localiser goes through the Oxford English Dictionary's latest Aussie slang additions and gives a propa Aussie verdict.

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Australian English: EOFY

This initialism represents one of the most important dates on Australia's financial calendar. What does it mean and what you should know about it?

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Australian English: dreaming and dream

How “dream” and "dreaming" in Australia came to describe the sacred, the suburban, the satirical and the simply delusional, and what this says about the country that uses these words these ways.

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Australian English: going troppo and mango madness

It's hot and everyone's a bit heat-affected... well, we Aussies have the perfect sayings to describe this craziness!

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Australian English: going troppo

The heat and humidity can do weird things to people, so that's why Aussies have this saying to explain it all...

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Do you know what a "phrasal verb" is?

Most native English speakers have no idea about this very common feature of English, even though they use them all the time. As for others, they're a nightmare.

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Do Australians understand US English?

Many clients try to pass off their US English texts and copy for Australia. While most Aussies will get it, there's a large section of the Australian public that won't. Who are these people?

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Australian English: BOM

Australia's weather bureau thought it had a branding problem with its explosive acronym. How solving it bombed when Aussies had their say about it.

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What is one of Australia's iconic sounds?

No, it's nothing to do with an animal call. It's a sound that international music stars have even sampled...

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Australian English: '-or' vs '-our'

"But '-or' spellings are American?" has said many an Aussie. But are they really? Not exactly. Find out how and where there are exceptions to the rule in Australian English.

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Why Australian media give warnings of deceased Indigenous people?

The recent case of Kumajayi Little Baby shows how Australian media handle indigenous mourning protocols. Here are the details and background to them.

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Australian English: Anzac Day

Parades, dawn services, two-up, biscuits... What you need to know about Australia (and New Zealand's) veteran's day. Plus, why the day is more important to some Aussies than others.

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Australian English: Easter and shops

What's open and what's not this Easter in Australia...Time to give a real-life example of Australian English.

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Australian English: pokies

Found in most pubs, clubs and casinos throughout Australia, the pokies are an important feature of Australian social culture. But what are they? Find out here...

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You fetta believe it! Australian feta, parmesan and prosecco remain.

Feta or white cheese? Prosecco or sparkling wine? How will the new EU-Australia free-trade agreement (not) affect the terms Aussies use for certain products

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Australian English: farewell and vale

No, I'm not leaving here. Linguistically, Australians actually have unique ways of bidding farewell to someone who's going for a long time... or forever.

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Australian English: to farewell

Yet another unexpected Australian-ism I and an internet superstar recently discovered...

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Australian English: demo

Aussies love shortening words and ending cutesy endings to them. But what happens when the same shortened word could mean multiple things?

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Australians laughing at ChatGPT's US English default when Aussies use it

If Australia's answer to the Onion is making fun of how AI uses US English as a default, then that means Aussies notice when you're using it in your text and copy. But there's a solution to this...

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How you can tell that an Australian wrote English text... without being told?

Are your international customers getting your message? Are you aware that some of the words, phrases and terms you use could have no or a different meaning elsewhere. That's where you need your copy and text reviewed for your target audience.

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So I go all the way to Australia to do this...

Off to the beach? Avoid the snakes and sharks? No... something completely different but expected from me.

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Australian English: thongs

Aussies love wearing thongs outdoors. But does "thongs" mean the same in Australia as it does in other countries? Find out here...

Read more

Australian English: programme vs program

Which one is the accepted spelling in Australia? You might be surprised at the answer!

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Australian English: abroad vs overseas

There are a number of seemingly ordinary English words that can get Aussies thinking 'that's not right'. Here's the case with one...?

Read more

Chinwag Tuesday podcast with Amanda Boyne

Want to hear how I speak in Australian English with another Australian English specialist? Here's your chance

Read more

Australian English: tap, tag or touch?

How do you describe using a payment card to use public transport in Australia? It depends where in Australia you are...

Read more

Australian English: maths or math

Want to get Aussies angry? Ask this mathematical question...

Read more

Do I translate into Australian?

Many people are shocked when they find out I'm a translator, but their jaws drop even more when I tell them that I also 'translate' into Australian English.

Read more

Australia Day/Invasion Day: the Lamb Ad!

Would you believe that one of the most anticipated events in the lead-up to Australia's national day on 26 January is... an ad about eating lamb! More about the vibe here...

Read more

Australia and New Zealand do seasons a little differently...

Why wishing your clients, friends and relatives in Australia a happy start to summer on December 21st is not the way to do it...

Read more

Australian English: peanut butter or peanut paste?

Tread carefully! The extraordinary story of this salty Australian regionalism and how it can ignite passions worthy of a civil war.

Read more

Macquarie Dictionary's 2024 word of the year is...

Australia's prime source for all things Australian English has picked its word for 2024. And this time, I agree!

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Indian and Australian English... the links between them

India and Australia have common bonds that go beyond a passion for cricket. Here are a few words that Indian and Australian English uniquely share...

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What's the name of this famous Australian natural landmark?

One of Australia's most visited tourist sites has two official names, but Aussies almost exclusively use one of them. Do you know which one?

Read more

Can the "world's most accurate translator" do Australian English?

Does DeepL live up to its claim of being "the world's most accurate translator" when it comes to Aussie English? Get ready for some zingers!

Read more

Australian English: is it email and/or e-mail?

Welcome to confusion with "email" in Australia. It's generational...

Read more

Australian (Olympics) English: battered sav, hello boys, crazy date, flat bags, goose...

How a comedy routine during the 2000 Sydney Olympics provided Australia with its own, very naughty, gymnastics lexicon!

Read more

Why are Aussies so good at swimming?

To get away from the sharks! Nah, it's more than that.

Read more

Australian English: "We're de factos!"

Many Australians are in "de facto relationships". What are these and how do they differ from marriage?

Read more

Burger King vs Hungry Jacks. Is there a difference?

Is Burger King the drama? How come there's no Burger King in Australia but you can still get a Whopper? A story of how a technicality turned an alternative brand into a part of local Australian identity, and how that was almost usurped.

Read more

Poor Gina...

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Australia's richest woman, mining magnate Gina Rinehart got more than what she bargained for when she wanted a portrait of her taken down. And how does wine figure into this too?

Read more

Australian etiquette: the Outback Driving Wave

It’s all about being friendly when driving out in “woop woop” (the middle of nowhere) in Australia. A definite must-do!

Read more

Watch out for the killer squirrels! It’s “silly season”… or is that “cucumber season”?

Watch out for the killer squirrels! 🐿️ We’re very much in “silly season” right now in the UK 🤪

Read more

Three everyday words that exist in Australian English only!

Ask what’s most unique about Australian English 🪃, the answers usually are our accent and slang✔️. However, there are also a number of uniquely Australian English words in regular use, even in formal situations, that Australians are surprised to find are not used everywhere else in the English-speaking world (OK, sometimes also in New Zealand🥝, […]

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Watch out, here comes the Aussie version of The Office…

Are you a fan of the cult TV comedy show The Office?🕺And which version: the UK one 🇬🇧? The US one 🇺🇸? The French one 🇫🇷? The Indian one 🇮🇳 or any of the other 13 variants made? 📣 News in is that an Australian 🇦🇺 version of The Office will be hitting our screens […]

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So what are Fantales?

They are chocolate-covered chewy caramels 🍬 that were often so hard to bite into that they kept many dentists in business 🦷. Nothing particularly unique so far, you might think.

Read more

What’s a “bank holiday”? Do Aussies say that too?

Do Aussies have "bank holidays" like in the UK? Well, it's complicated

Read more

Vale Barry Humphries!

Last Saturday Australian 🇦🇺 🎭 comedy legend Barry Humphries passed away aged 89.

Read more

Australian English: "You can find the Doonas in Manchester”

Now this might sound a bit random but this is something you’ll hear all the time, in all places, in department stores in Australia. How come?

Read more

Eshays and Adlays: Australia’s answer to London’s Roadmen

The story behind Australia’s current most notorious youth sub-group

Read more

Move over Easter Bunny 🐇 … make way for the Easter Bilby! 🪃

Bunnies are considered cute and loveable… except in Australia 🇦🇺, where they’re a major scourge🤬.

Read more

The time when George Bush Senior figuratively told the Aussies where to go…

Have you unwittingly done a hand gesture that meant something completely different in another country? Here’s a true story…

Read more

Seachange, Treechange, E-change

Something Australian (but no way uniquely) today…Do you fancy an escape from the rat race and going for a seachange 🌊, treechange 🌳 or e-change 💻?

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AHA or ANA?

How the Cyrillic alphabet can play tricks on people who only know the Latin alphabet

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Watch my talk on Balkan multilingualism

My talk about Balkan multilingualism can be seen now!

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Oldtimers, dancings and packets ... but are they English words?

Welcome to the crazy world of "false friends" and "pseudo-anglicisms"... they look like English words but they're not

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The most important question for a certified translation of a personal document not in Latin script?

It's the simplest of things that can cause the most trouble. And when it comes to certified translations, getting this right is crucial!

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Two years as a Chartered Linguist!

Two years ago I attained the highest qualification for translators, Chartered Linguist. And I'm the only one in the UK for the languages I work from.

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5 May – Macedonian Language Day

How come Macedonian Language Day is on 5 May, and what strict rule makes spoken Macedonian sound so distinct?

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Tales from ethnic radio (part 3)

What happens when our listeners can't understand what's supposed to be "their" language? The battle between standard languages and their dialects.

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Македонски јазик: Божик или Божиќ?

Секоја година пред празникот се појавува истата дилема: Која форма е „помакедонска“? Еве го одговорот базиран на истражувањата на проф. д-р Елка Јачева-Улчар.

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Up for a crazy coupon? How Bulgarians say they want to party...

Are you up for a crazy coupon where you're strutting your stuff on the "dancing"? Perhaps you're a "labour" or a "gender"? A sneak peak into some Bulgarian linguistic false friends

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Dua Lipa and her "pasosh"

After many decades of Yugoslav rule, Albanian spoken in Kosovo, Macedonia and Montenegro has some Serbo-Croatian words, but particularly in certain areas. Which ones? And why is this not unique?

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Kocani, Kočani or Kochani?

Some Macedonian linguistic pointers

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What's my 'mother language'?

International Mother Language Day and Global Language Advocacy Day are on! So what do I consider to be my 'mother languages' and why one of them is under threat...

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Slovenian, the odd one out

I translate into English from all Southern Slavic languages except one. Sorry, I can't do Slovenian. Here's my apology.

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Serbo-Croatian? Yes, I still work from it.

3 decades have passed since it officially ceased to exist but I still get requests to translate from Serbo-Croatian. How come?

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I'm now a full member of the Chartered Institute of Linguists of the UK!

Yet another accreditation...

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Hindi/Urdu and Balkan languages... the links between them

There are words that are the same in Hindi and Urdu as in Croatian and Romanian?! How can this be? Find out here...

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Can the "world's most accurate translator" do Australian English?

Does DeepL live up to its claim of being "the world's most accurate translator" when it comes to Aussie English? Get ready for some zingers!

Read more

Why are there so many Turkish words in Balkan languages?

Let's see how Turkish has influenced the languages of the Balkans and further afield. Bujrum!

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False Friend Friday! Time for some Latin-based words

Where the translation gets undone because just because a word looks the same in another language, it doesn't necessarily means the same.

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Watch out for the killer squirrels! It’s “silly season”… or is that “cucumber season”?

Watch out for the killer squirrels! 🐿️ We’re very much in “silly season” right now in the UK 🤪

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Луд купон, the “crazy coupon” Bulgarian party

So who’s having a “crazy coupon” this weekend? 🎉 Wait!✋ A crazy coupon?🎟️😲 What’s that?

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Oldtajmer, evergrin, rekorder, golman… the world of Balkan pseudo-anglicisms

Did you hear about the man who collects “old-timers”? 👴🏽 Or that Frank Sinatra has many “evergreens”? 🌲

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Homonyms maketh the sentence…

How do you say in Bosnian, Croatian, Montenegrin or Serbian this: “Up there, the mountains burn worse”?👉 Gore gore gore gore.

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Naš jezik at Munich Airport

I’m about to fly off to Australia transiting through Munich Airport 🇩🇪 … so I’m preparing myself to be ready to speak in “naš jezik” (“our language”).

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Ramadan or Ramazan?

The Muslim holy month of Ramadan starts today, but how do you call the month? A case of local vs global of different circumstances

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2001: A Balkan Odyssey. Part 3 "Where's Biljana"

It's time to find Biljana. But before that, why does it seem that everyone in Macedonia knows each other? And why war-lead ethnic unity is addictive as Macedonia's opium.

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RIP Džansever

Džansever Dalipova, star of Macedonian Roma and Turkish Arabesque music, has died aged 59.

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Vibeάρω!

A bit of fun in the sun with one of this year’s viral summer songs in Greece – Vibeάρω (I Vibe)

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Wartime witch hunts

How binary discourses in war societies where everything is black and white creates the environment to brutally attack anyone who questions this

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Olivera Katarina (1940–2026)

The only woman the great Salvador Dalí knelt for. The glory, mystique and controversy surrounding this celebrated Yugoslav and Serbian actress and singer.

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I found the actual Ken Lee!!!

This has had me laughing all day. If you know, you know!

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How Bulgaria soared and sunk at the World Cup in the 1990s

The World Cup grand finale is on this weekend. Let's remember how Bulgaria did well in 1994 but failed in 1998. And what happened to 1994 star Lechkov?

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What's the latest with Honeyland star Atidje Muratova?

Good news: she's still looking after her bees.

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Tales from ethnic radio (the end)

Going from fax to internet... and into armed ethnic conflict. And how war hits harder when you actually have to deal with its brutal consequences.

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Vlado Janevski (1960-2026)

One of Macedonia's biggest pop stars has gone to his starry sky far away

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Keeping up with the Zogus, Albania’s royal family

Three generations of a family that mostly never had a throne, a country... or much in the way of restraint. And how does an Australian woman get involved in all this? Show us the drama!

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The king who became prime minister, muscular arms and other tales of the Bulgarian royals

A family history of exile, a tsar's comeback as a 21st-century prime minister, and how it all ends with his daughter trending for her muscular arms. Welcome to the stage, the Bulgarian Royal Family.

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Two marches, one city, twenty years of broken promises

A government-backed parade, a tolerated Pride, and the fiction of democratic balance and the "traditional family" in the Balkans.

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Donald Trump's birthday? Ha! It's also Ceca's!

Move over the Donald! There's someone else grander who has her birthday today too. But the similarities don't end there...

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Big Bulgarian wedding – no! Big Bulgarian graduation ball – da!

Why the tradition for big weddings in Bulgaria is no longer the case... and why graduation balls and festivities have taken their place.

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How the 1972 hajj brought smallpox to Yugoslavia... and how the country successfuly dealt with it

Socialist Yugoslavia always treated the Hajj and the participation of its citizens with care – they could come back with concepts that could bring the system down. But a Hajji in 1972 brought back something far more dangerous – a killer virus.

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Is Ricky Martin Montenegrin?

Who needs real evidence? Where the Balkan thing for bread and circuses, and claiming everyone and anyone as they're own, collide. Plus, I reveal Lady Gaga's alleged Balkan roots!

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Why there's no turbo folk/chalga at Eurovision

Disposable, easy pop with a local flavour and pleasing to the eye. You'd think turbo folk/chalga would be ideal for Eurovision, but you won't be seeing it on the big stage. How come...?

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Why Croatia's 2026 Eurovision song is problematic

Croatia's dark ethnic ballad entry for Eurovision 2026 has gained many fans across Europe. But the song is problematic in some aspects...

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"Don't take my picture then!" Arif Heralić and Alija Sirotanović – two socialist Yugoslav icons as one.

Did you know the most recognisable face of socialist Yugoslavia after Tito was of a Roma furnace worker from Bosnia? But many ex-Yugoslavs think it's another Bosnian. Here are their stories...

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May Day in socialist Yugoslavia

Who's up for a picnic? It's time for bean soup. How Tito's Yugoslavia celebrated the "holiday of labour" and what changed over time and what didn't. Oh, and there's that time I got punched.

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Video killed the red star in 1980s Bulgaria and Romania

How video casettes illegally smuggled from the west caused Bulgarians and Romanians to question their communist system in the 1980s. And how are James Bond movies treated in Bulgaria...

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Princes Amongst Men is back!

The book that launched my career as a Balkans sensitivity and authenticity reader is back, updated and bigger than ever!

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22 April – Lenin's birthday

So Lenin was one of the world's most prominent revolutionaries, but his legacy lasts by way of... first names and spring cleaning? All is explained here.

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"The buying and selling of votes is a crime" in Bulgaria

The aspects of Bulgarian elections that no-one else talks about. And what does Chalga have to say about it? All aboard the 'Bulgarian train'. Toot, toot!

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The eggs are dyed for Easter!

Yes, it's that time of year again, and I'm glad to say that the eggs turned out great this year.

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8 April – International Romani Day

Today is International Romani Day. Note, not 'Gypsy'. Why this is not the most appropriate term, and how ethnic labels can be complicated.

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Vale Yanka Rupkina!

Famous Bulgarian folk singer and member of the world-famous Trio Bulgarka, Yanka Rupkina, has died. Here is her extraordinary life.

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Lazarus Saturday – the Balkan debutante ball, and Palm Sunday – the Balkan flower festival

The weekend before Easter in Balkan Orthodox Christian societies sees major celebrations for the coming of spring, steeped in pagan origins.

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Tales from ethnic radio (part 2)

How I transitioned from listener to being listened. But first, let's bring in some music. 1990s Macedonian Turbofolk anyone? And what was the (surprising) word we couldn't mention?

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Tales from ethnic radio (part 1)

50 years ago today started the service I loathed as a child... but became my ticket to my future. The crazy yet wonderful world of ethnic, and particularly "Yugoslav", radio in Adelaide, Australia.

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Kostadinka Palazova, the voice of Bojmija, Macedonia (1939–2026)

Legendary Macedonian folk singer Kostadinka Palazova has passed away. Her life has been dedicated to keeping the songs of her birthplace alive in the face of official bans, ethnic cleansing and life in exile.

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When coins matter: stotinki and sixpence for Christmas

Big issue of the day – what coin do you use for your lucky-coin Christmas tradition? It matters to many in the Balkans AND Australia

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19 December is Saint Nicholas Day!

It's a pretty big day in some Orthodox Christian parts of the Balkans – St Nicholas Day. But how come it's happening 13 days after the rest of the world? And what are you not supposed to do today?

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Princes Amongst Men: Journeys with Gypsy Musicians is back!

Garth Cartwright's award-winning book about the talented Roma music stars of the Balkans is getting a re-release!

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Eat that burek... it could be useful later on

How my experience growing up Balkan in Australia has provided valuable knowledge to others.

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Slovenian, the odd one out

I translate into English from all Southern Slavic languages except one. Sorry, I can't do Slovenian. Here's my apology.

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My moment of 2024...

There's always one thing each year that stands out in my travels, and this year it was accidently discovering the huge gastarbeiter houses of eastern Serbia

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Utopia of the Uniform: Affective Afterlives of the Yugoslav People's Army by Tanja Petrović

22 December was Yugoslav People's Day. Here are some notes about the topics raised in this research, my personal connection to the former JNA and how its legacy lives on in the memories and legends of millions.

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Professor, Doctor, Docent, Magister... let's get into academic titles!

Some societies take them very seriously, some not so much. Find out more here...

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Why are there so many Turkish words in Balkan languages?

Let's see how Turkish has influenced the languages of the Balkans and further afield. Bujrum!

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Trileche, the not-so-traditional Balkan dish

How thanks to the Albanians, a Latin American cake conquered the Balkans.

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"Can you identify the text here?"

Did you know that people regularly contact me to identify text they can't decipher. That's what happens when I know a number of languages.

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25 years since the death of Bulgarian chalga star Rumyana

How the life and death of a popular chalga singer embodied the nature of post-Communist Bulgaria

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Who's gonna win: Sunderland or Newcastle? Fancy a Democracy Sausage? Or take a ride on the "Bulgarian Train"

Vote-count competitions between rival cities? How a mundane sausage in generic white bread is the epitome of mass democratic participation in Australia. And why a Bulgarian train is not a train. The weird world of election traditions.

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Oldtajmer, evergrin, rekorder, golman… the world of Balkan pseudo-anglicisms

Did you hear about the man who collects “old-timers”? 👴🏽 Or that Frank Sinatra has many “evergreens”? 🌲

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Ramadan or Ramazan?

The Muslim holy month of Ramadan starts today, but how do you call the month? A case of local vs global of different circumstances

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International Women’s Day (IWD). A day of campaigning ♀ … or a day to buy flowers 💐

🪃 In Australia, IWD is a day of campaigning and awareness, elements that are much closer to the day’s original purpose of bringing mainstream attention to issues affecting women.

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Out today! Elixir, In the Valley at the End of Time

The latest book that I played a part in its fruition (no, I’m not in it this time), by my dear friend, the award-winning writer Kapka Kassabova, is now available for purchase.

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Do we really need self-service counters in 'Pirate', me mateys?

Ahoy, me hearties! What may appear as a community service actually serves to undermine the supposed primary purpose of such language provision.

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Child interpreters. Why are we getting them to do an adult's job?

Children who interpret for their family members who do not know the local language are often portrayed as heroes. But what do these children think?

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Hindi/Urdu and Balkan languages... the links between them

There are words that are the same in Hindi and Urdu as in Croatian and Romanian?! How can this be? Find out here...

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"Can you identify the text here?"

Did you know that people regularly contact me to identify text they can't decipher. That's what happens when I know a number of languages.

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Five common myths about raising bilingual children

Surprising as it may be, I was once a child, but one who happened to grow up in a multilingual environment but dominated by English.

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If they don’t understand, they’ll just ask

But will they? Why having public-facing text optimised from the onset is better than expecting members of the public will simply ask if they don't understand something.

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Anchor clients and the power of reminders

What are anchor clients and how I was able to regain one thanks to sound advice on using reminders

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What's the obvious sign of a lazy translation from English into any other language?

Translation is supposed to convey info from one language to another, but if you just use the words only tweaked from the source language, then you're doing a disservice.

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Oldtimers, dancings and packets ... but are they English words?

Welcome to the crazy world of "false friends" and "pseudo-anglicisms"... they look like English words but they're not

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The most important question for a certified translation of a personal document not in Latin script?

It's the simplest of things that can cause the most trouble. And when it comes to certified translations, getting this right is crucial!

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Two years as a Chartered Linguist!

Two years ago I attained the highest qualification for translators, Chartered Linguist. And I'm the only one in the UK for the languages I work from.

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If you know another language then you cannot be a bigot! Is this true?

Is there any truth that knowing another language eliminates any chance of you being a bigot?

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Child interpreters. Why are we getting them to do an adult's job?

Children who interpret for their family members who do not know the local language are often portrayed as heroes. But what do these children think?

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How to pass off as a native English speaker when writing?

What's one of the biggest giveaways that a text in English was not written by a native speaker? Find out here with a simple and yet important tip...

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My new personalised stamp!

To add to that professional touch, I can have your documents stamped with my personalised round stamp.

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Professor, Doctor, Docent, Magister... let's get into academic titles!

Some societies take them very seriously, some not so much. Find out more here...

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Serbo-Croatian? Yes, I still work from it.

3 decades have passed since it officially ceased to exist but I still get requests to translate from Serbo-Croatian. How come?

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I'm now a full member of the Chartered Institute of Linguists of the UK!

Yet another accreditation...

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Hindi/Urdu and Balkan languages... the links between them

There are words that are the same in Hindi and Urdu as in Croatian and Romanian?! How can this be? Find out here...

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Can the "world's most accurate translator" do Australian English?

Does DeepL live up to its claim of being "the world's most accurate translator" when it comes to Aussie English? Get ready for some zingers!

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International Translation Day and the Dragomans

How the Ottoman Empire granted its translators and interpreters, the Dragomans, with respect and status.

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Meyk lov - not vor

Why you shouldn't trust automated translation on LinkedIn or anywhere else. And are the Macedonians being targeted?

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Any place, any time…

👍The best thing about being a freelance translator is being able to work at any place at any time. 👎The worst thing about being a freelancer translator is being able to work at any place at any time.

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English language translation tips: use of long forms of country names

Republic of Serbia 🇷🇸, Republic of Croatia 🇭🇷, Kingdom of Norway 🇳🇴, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 🇬🇧, Oriental Republic of Uruguay 🇺🇾, Plurinational State of Bolivia 🇧🇴 …

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On the An Englishman in the Balkans podcast

I'm the guest on the latest episode

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Oldtimers, dancings and packets ... but are they English words?

Welcome to the crazy world of "false friends" and "pseudo-anglicisms"... they look like English words but they're not

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Muphry's Law strikes again!

Have you heard of Muphry's Law? No, it's not Murphy's Law, and if you thought that it was, then that's Muphry's Law. Confusing? Well, time to clear it up...

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If you know another language then you cannot be a bigot! Is this true?

Is there any truth that knowing another language eliminates any chance of you being a bigot?

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International Mother Language Day: "you're confusing him"

To show why mother languages matter, here's my story how educators in Australia tried stopping my parents speaking to me in my mother language.

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Careful, someone might hear you!

Think you can say vile things about the people around you because hardly anyone speaks your language? Think again! Because when you least suspect it, there'll be someone who does understand...

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Up for a crazy coupon? How Bulgarians say they want to party...

Are you up for a crazy coupon where you're strutting your stuff on the "dancing"? Perhaps you're a "labour" or a "gender"? A sneak peak into some Bulgarian linguistic false friends

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A company by any other name than Nik?

Oil, banking, jewelry, optics, radio broadcasting, hard spirits... Nik does it all! But do I really?

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Dua Lipa and her "pasosh"

After many decades of Yugoslav rule, Albanian spoken in Kosovo, Macedonia and Montenegro has some Serbo-Croatian words, but particularly in certain areas. Which ones? And why is this not unique?

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Do we really need self-service counters in 'Pirate', me mateys?

Ahoy, me hearties! What may appear as a community service actually serves to undermine the supposed primary purpose of such language provision.

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What's my 'mother language'?

International Mother Language Day and Global Language Advocacy Day are on! So what do I consider to be my 'mother languages' and why one of them is under threat...

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Indian and Australian English... the links between them

India and Australia have common bonds that go beyond a passion for cricket. Here are a few words that Indian and Australian English uniquely share...

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"Merci" is how you say "thank you" in which language?

It may come as a surprise but it's not just in French...

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"Can you identify the text here?"

Did you know that people regularly contact me to identify text they can't decipher. That's what happens when I know a number of languages.

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You know that time when Madonna was interviewed by a Hungarian tabloid? Or when translation goes hilariously bad…

We all know how some translations can be so bad that they’re unintentionally hilarious, like the viral examples from Engrish.com...

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Working in IT? What do you call yourself? An IT-ian, a Hitechist…?

Working in IT? 👩🏻‍💻 Would you call yourself an IT-ian, Hitechist or Startupist?

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Watch out for the killer squirrels! It’s “silly season”… or is that “cucumber season”?

Watch out for the killer squirrels! 🐿️ We’re very much in “silly season” right now in the UK 🤪

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You do Montenegrin and Bosnian, right?

Two more language directions have been added to my Institute of Translation and Interpreting profile

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Generic or specific? The issue stopping the free-trade agreement between the EU and Australia

Would you believe that the names of all these famous products are the cause for the deadlock in the free-trade agreement negotiations between the EU 🇪🇺 and Australia 🇦🇺. How come?

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Smoker’s remorse… or how false friends can be deeply expressive

🟰 Words that look the same or similar in two languages but have two, at times radically, different meanings are called “false friends”.

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The personal touch

Translation can often be a very sedentary existence, plugging away in front of a laptop, with little or no face-to-face contact with clients👨🏻‍💻

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World Cancer Day: cancer scare!

Even after being cured of cancer and remission is over, there's still the threat of it coming back for around go. What to do with a new cancer scare?

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Cancer and gallows humour: Thank you for the flowers 💐; I hope they die before I do!

What's one constant when it comes to the cancer experience? It's the gallows humour. Yes, it gets very, very dark. Why is this so?

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15 years cancer-free!!!

And I know because of an annual procedure a work colleague advised me to do...

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It's Men's Health Week... and I'm 15 years cancer-free!!!

The story of how I found out by chance that I no longer had cancer

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